Babysitting Blues
by BugBite15
Summary: When Cuddy can't find a babysitter for Rachel, she has to ask the ONE PERSON that she'd rather...not. HUDDY! T to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Trying something new. When Cuddy can't find a babysitter for Rachel, she gets help from an unexpected source. Eventual Huddy, but starts out Luddy (gag me with a fork). Let me know how you like it!

(Rated T just in case. And obviously, House isn't mine. Oh, and in this story, Cuddy gets to work around 7 and the nanny arrives at 6:30. I don't know when she's supposed to get there (or the nanny's name), so we're going to pretend, ok?)

* * *

Lisa Cuddy woke up at 5 a.m. Friday morning to her alarm clock beeping obnoxiously. She turned it off quickly so that it wouldn't wake Rachel up. She looked over to the other side of her bed. It was empty, and she discovered that the sheets were cold as she'd run her hand along them. Had Lucas even been there last night?

After checking on her daughter, Cuddy proceeded to go about her usual morning routine. She was starting to get worried, though: it was almost 6:45 and the nanny hadn't arrived yet, and she was supposed to have left five minutes ago.

Cuddy jumped when the phone rang and hurried to answer it. It was Rachel's nanny, Beth.

"Beth, where are you?" At this point, Cuddy was frantic. She had a board meeting at 9 and she hadn't printed out some charts she needed yet and...

"I'm sorry Dr. Cuddy, I meant to call you. I've got the flu. It's pretty bad, I feel awful."

Cuddy stifled a tiny yelp. "Um, ok, Beth. That's all right. Get well soon."

"Ok, thanks Dr. Cuddy."

With that, Beth hung up the phone. Cuddy counted to ten to calm herself, then picked up the phone again to try and call some other babysitters. Unfortunately, it seemed that the stars were aligned against her endeavors. Danielle had a broken leg. Lucy had eloped to Vegas with her boyfriend. Gerri's mother was in the hospital…the list went on and on. She decided to start calling some employees that she knew well. But Cameron had left PPTH. Turner had four surgeries to perform today. And Wilson was at a medical conference. That left only one person.

_NO, _Cuddy thought to herself adamantly. There was NO WAY she'd ask HOUSE to watch Rachel for her, even if it WAS his day off. She just couldn't, not with the fact that he would be an incapable parent was the main reason she had chosen Lucas over him. It would be a royal slap in the face, and she would be contradicting herself.

But she couldn't bring a fifteen-month-old to a BOARD MEETING!

She would have to swallow her pride and ask. She could only hope that House would make a joke about it…

* * *

At 7:10, House was roused from his light sleep by the sound of someone knocking on the front door. He sighed; so much for sleeping in…

The pounding became louder and more desperate, but House was in no hurry, thinking that it was probably one of the neighbors complaining about his late-night piano playing. He opened the door and was thumped on the chest by a frantic Cuddy, who was looking down the hallway instead of at the door because she was afraid of someone seeing her.

When she realized that whatever she had hit was softer than the door, her head whipped forward and she saw House taking a step back, his right hand clutching the doorframe and his left hand on his chest.

"That's one hell of a right hook," he gasped out. He wasn't hurt too badly, but it had knocked the wind right out of him.

"House!" Cuddy cried. "I'm so sorry, I didn't see you and I- well, I have to ask you for a huge favor."

House eyed her suspiciously. He did NOT like granting favors to people.

"What?"

Cuddy bit her lip.

"Can you please watch Rachel for me?"

House was surprised. "I thought that you couldn't trust me with kids."

Cuddy looked at the floor, knowing that it was HER fault he felt that way.

"House, I…" she wanted to apologize, but her pride just wouldn't let her. "Please, House, do this for me and I'll give you a week off from clinic duty!"

_A week?_ House thought. _She MUST be desperate if she offers a week without any negotiation._

Truthfully, House had no intentions of refusing her. Actually, he was going to use it to try and get out of a few hours of clinic duty, anyway. Cuddy offering a week just made his life easier.

"Ok," House agreed. "I'll do it."

"House, please, I- wait, you WILL?" Cuddy had fully expected him to say no! Was he up to something?

"I'm not up to ANYTHING, Cuddy," House said, rolling his eyes. He was no mind-reader, but it didn't take a psychic to read the look on her face.

"Thank you so much!" Cuddy gushed. She passed a sleepy-looking Rachel to House's arms and put the diaper bag on the floor by the doorway. "Everything you'll need is in there: diapers, toys, food, everything. But if you want to give her some fruit, she doesn't like cherries and she'll only eat bananas if you cut them up for her. She usually has a nap around 1 p.m. Call me if you need anything, but you probably won't, she's a good girl. I've got to go now, I have a meeting soon. I should be back around seven." She kissed Rachel good-bye and ran from the loft, leaving House and Rachel standing in the doorway.

"Is she always that crazy?" House asked Rachel. She just stared at him, her eyes wide. They were sort of pretty- not the rich, chocolate brown of Wilson's eyes, but a soft, warm light-brown, fringed with dark lashes.

"Well, let's get your coat off, then." House placed Rachel on the floor and carefully removed her tiny coat. He placed the coat on the rack beside his own before picking Rachel up again and grabbing her diaper bag.

House, still tired, suggested to Rachel, "How about we go back to sleep?" He carried Rachel into his bedroom and placed her on the bed. He arranged pillows around her so that she wouldn't fall, and put an extra pillow on the floor just in case. House put a small blanket he found in the diaper bag over Rachel, and lay down on the bed himself.

Rachel turned her head to stare at him curiously. House stared back.

"Well, aren't you tired? It's still early," he said, tucking the pink blanket under her chin. Rachel didn't close her eyes, but she made no move to get up, and wasn't crying, so House figured that she must be content where she was.

"Would it be irresponsible of me to go to sleep while you're awake?" Rachel just continued to stare at him.

House sighed. "Not much of a talker, are you? Well, that's ok. When I was little, I didn't talk much, either."

Rachel sat up then, her little arms reaching for House.

"You want me to carry you?" House lifted her up gently. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm tired."

But apparently, Rachel just wanted to be held. She laid her head on House's chest, closing her eyes. House covered her with the blanket again, unsure of what to make of Rachel's behavior. The only thing he could say for sure was that he had just become the little girl's bed.

* * *

Cuddy was in her office, hurrying to get everything she needed for the Board Meeting that she had in an hour. But even though she was trying to focus and make sure she was prepared, her thoughts kept drifting back to House and Rachel. Would they really be ok together for the WHOLE DAY? Cuddy scolded herself; she should know better by now than to doubt House's abilities. If he REALLY thought that Rachel would be too much for him to handle, he would have refused. But still…Rachel was her _baby _and Cuddy's instinct was to protect her from all possible harm. She KNEW that House would NEVER hurt Rachel intentionally, but accidents DO happen, right? Cuddy was going to drive herself crazy with this. She'd never be able to focus on the Board Meeting now…She may as well have brought Rachel with her!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you for the reviews! I wasn't sure if anyone would want to read a story about House watching Rachel…

Also, is Humor the right genre? I'm trying to make it funny, but maybe I should've put Family instead…

Anyway, drop me a line and tell me how you like it, and enjoy some House/Rachel cuteness! At least, I HOPE it's cute…

* * *

House woke up about an hour later. Rachel was already awake and sitting upright on his abdomen. Her rosebud lips turned upwards into a smile when she saw that House was awake.

"Hey, Rachel," House said, rubbing the sleep put of his eyes. "I guess you'll be wanting breakfast now, right?" He sat up, moving Rachel to sit on his left thigh.

Rachel didn't answer, but instead reached out to touch House's stubbly chin, her eyes going wide- she had never felt anything scratchy like that. House smirked at her. "You like that, huh? How about this?" He nuzzled his cheek against hers, smiling to himself when the little girl laughed.

"How about that breakfast, then?" House carried Rachel and her diaper bag to the kitchen and put them both on the counter. He began to rummage through her bag to look for her food, and triumphantly pulled out a small container of Cheerios.

"You want Cheerios?" House asked her, holding up the container. Rachel smiled and reached for the container. He opened it and handed it to her, and watched as she stuck a chubby hand into the container to grab a handful of cereal.

_This…isn't really difficult,_ House thought, leaning against the counter. He had thought that Rachel would hate him. He fully expected temper tantrums and crying for her mother. But not…well, _this _! Rachel was quiet and sweet and even seemed to LIKE him. Why did Cuddy think he couldn't do this?

When Rachel finished her cereal, House put the container away. He put Rachel on the floor and handed her a stuffed giraffe from the diaper bag. He then went about finding HIMSELF some breakfast, but still kept a watchful eye on Rachel, who was cooing happily to her giraffe.

After he wolfed down some cereal and put the empty bowl in the sink, he sat down on the couch with Rachel's bag.

"So, Rachel," he began, turning to the little girl, "What do you want to do now?"

Rachel didn't answer, but held her giraffe out to him.

"What? You want me to hold it?" He took the giraffe from her hands, unsure of what she meant. "Do you want to play with it?"

He held the giraffe out and brushed its face across Rachel's, tickling her. Rachel giggled and pushed the giraffe away with a squeal of, "No!"

"Ah! She speaks!" House exclaimed, grinning at her. "Do you know any other words?"

"No," Rachel giggled, crawling onto House's lap. He moved her so that she was more on his left leg than his right. She swung her tiny feet back and forth and petted her giraffe on its head. "Giwaffe," she declared, looking up at House.

"Well, yeah, he's a giraffe. But does he have a name?" House asked, tilting his head to the side. Rachel copied him. "No."

"Then we should give him one. What about…um…Ron?" It was the first thing that popped into his head that he thought would be relatively easy enough for Rachel to say.

"Don?" Rachel said.

"No, Ron."

"Don?"

"RON."

"Don?"

"R-ON. RON."

"Don."

"Yes, Don," House sighed, deciding to just give in. "His name is Don. Don the Giraffe."

"Don giwaffe!" Rachel cried happily, clapping her tiny hands together.

House chuckled. "See? I just expanded your vocabulary. Your psycho-mama is gonna be glad that you got some education. Um, don't call her that, ok?"

"Mama?" Rachel asked.

"She's at work," he answered. Rachel seemed to understand this. House suddenly felt kind of bad, realizing that Rachel must be used to hearing that, even if she didn't completely understand what it meant. House may not have the Mom of the Year, but at least HIS mother was THERE. Cuddy loved her daughter, but she was practically MARRIED to the hospital- it was her first baby and nothing could change that. House promised himself that no matter where Cuddy's relationship with Lucas went, he'd ALWAYS be there for Rachel if she ever needed anything- no matter how much it hurt him to see THEM together.

Rachel leaned against House, her head resting against his chest. House, without thinking about it, placed his hand on the side of her head, his thumb stroking her cheek. He realized that even though this child hadn't known him long, she liked him and trusted him, which, although terrifying, sent an unfamiliar warmth throughout his body. He suddenly felt…protective. The thought of anything befalling the little girl in his lap made him feel ill. He just wanted…to _be there. _But Rachel wasn't his. She was Cuddy's, and probably would soon be Lucas's, too.

Not his.

Rachel looked up at him innocently with a smile on her face, completely oblivious to House's inner turmoil. But seeing her smile made House smile, too, and he ruffled her soft brown locks before asking Rachel, "So what do you want to do now?"

* * *

Cuddy sat in her chair at the Board Meeting, her leg bouncing impatiently. All she could think about was Rachel. Was she all right? Did House feed her breakfast yet? Did he know how to change her diaper? Ok, stupid question, if he didn't know how to change a diaper, then he shouldn't have been allowed to graduate from Med. school… but still! This was _House_ she was thinking about here! When was the last time _House_ changed a diaper?

"Dr. Cuddy? Are you all right?"

"What?" Cuddy jumped and turned to see a worried-looking Dr. West.

"You seem upset. Is everything…all right?" Dr. West had always been very kind and sweet (ironically enough, she was the Head of Cardiology).

"Oh…uh, yes, I'm fine, I was just thinking about my daughter, she, um, has a new babysitter today, and well, you know how children can be afraid of strangers, uh…I'm sorry, please continue," Cuddy offered lamely, fingering her strand of pearls in embarrassment.

Dr. West, always forgiving, smiled kindly and nodded. She re-launched into her passionate speech about heart transplants. Cuddy was doing her best to listen attentively, but hearing about people getting hurt made her go back to worrying about Rachel.

* * *

After he and Rachel played with Don the Giraffe (or Don Giwaffe) for a while, House thought he smelled something strange. He then realized that Rachel probably needed to have her diaper changed. He found a stack of clean diapers, baby wipes, and a small fold-up changing mat in the diaper bag. Now all he had to do was remember HOW to change a diaper.

He grabbed a clean diaper and the box of wipes and spread the mat on the floor. He eased himself onto the floor next to it, and picked Rachel up to lay her down gently on the mat. He managed to get the soiled diaper off, and even to clean Rachel up without much fuss from the little girl, but to get the clean diaper ON was the challenge.

"Feel free to step in at any time and tell me how it's done, Rach," House told her, trying to remember which way the damned thing went. When he was pretty sure the diaper was on correctly, he held it gently in place whilst pulling on the tabs to try and close it. Rachel didn't seem to mind how long it was taking House to change her diaper, however; she was too busy laughing at the funny faces he was making to get fussy.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" House said, tickling her, "Little sadist. Taking after your mother already."

House was FINALLY able to secure the diaper around Rachel's body. He righted her clothing and moved her off of the changing mat so he could ATTEMPT to clean up the mess he had inadvertently made. Oh, well. Wilson could clean it properly when he got home.

The next few hours went just as smoothly. House played the piano with Rachel on his lap, and even let her bang on the keys a little bit (though he promised to give her proper lessons when she was old enough). He cooked some macaroni and cheese for lunch for the both of them and put "Spongebob Squarepants" on the TV. Hey, he had to keep the kid entertained SOMEHOW! Though he had to admit, playing with her wasn't SO bad… (baby steps, remember?)

The only real problem House ran into (besides the horrors of diaper-changing) was putting her down for a nap. He supposed that it probably had something to do with the fact that he put her back to sleep at a time that she might normally be awake, and that, because of his leg, he couldn't run around with her and therefore tire her out.

So he had to resort to drastic measures to put Rachel down for her afternoon nap. He took Rachel back to the piano and cradled her in the crook of his left arm, and played a soothing melody with his right hand. Rachel seemed to really like the song, which gave House an idea. After Rachel fell asleep, he put her in his room, putting a wall of pillows around her and leaving the door open a little bit so that he could hear her if she were to fall or cry.

He went back to the piano, and, playing as softly as possible, began to perfect and embellish the little melody from before. He didn't always like overly-fancy music, but he wanted this piece to be special, because he wasn't composing it for himself.

It was for Rachel.

Logically, he knew that she was just a toddler and wouldn't understand the significance of someone composing a piece of music for her. If she understood anything, it would be that the big guy she had been with all day was playing something pretty on that box-thing. But it meant something to _House_ . He just wasn't sure WHAT. He wasn't sure if it was ok for him to be so fond of Rachel so quickly. Yet somehow, being with Rachel just felt…right. Maybe that's a weird thing to say, but he'd been around other children before and hadn't felt this way. Sure, they were MUCH easier to tolerate then adults (and more specifically, their parents), but he felt so…ATTACHED to Rachel after spending only half a day with her. He even considered telling Cuddy that he'd watch Rachel whenever she needed him to, simply because he ENJOYED spending time with this kid.

House was still working on a name for this new piece when he heard Rachel babbling to herself. It was too high pitched and mangled for him to understand, but he preferred THAT over crying. He went to his room, picked Rachel up, and was about to carry her back to the living room when his cell phone started to buzz.

"House."

"Hey, House, it's me. Listen, I need you to come get me from the airport and take me to the hospital."

"Wilson? You're not supposed to be back 'til tomorrow!"

Wilson sighed. "I know. But I have to get to the hospital, one of my patients needs me as soon as possible."

"Call a cab. I can't go get you. I don't have a car-seat."

"Now, House. I think you're tall enough to get away with driving without a car-seat."

House rolled his eyes. "It's not for ME, you idiot, it's for RACHEL."

"You…have Rachel with you."

"Yes. Why?"

"…House, I know you're in love with her, but the way to Cuddy's heart is NOT by kidnapping her baby."

"Wilson! I did NOT kidnap her kid. Cuddy ASKED me to watch her because she couldn't find any other babysitter."

"I see…and is Rachel still alive, or…?"

House frowned. His own best friend didn't trust that he could care for a child? That…that really hurt.

"We're doing FINE. Here Rachel, tell Wilson everything is going fine." He held the mouthpiece near Rachel's lips so that Wilson could hear her contentedly cooing to herself, then brought the phone back to his ear. "See? I told you. We're FINE."

Wilson was silent for a few moments.

"Oh my god, you love Cuddy's baby."

"Wh-what? No! Today is only the, I dunno, fourth time I saw her!"

"You love Cuddy's baby. You're worried about a car-seat…"

"Oh, come on, that's just common sense! BESIDES, Cuddy would kill me of something happened to Rachel. If I want her to want me, then I think it would be best if she didn't hate me."

"No, this isn't about Cuddy. Well, maybe a little, but it goes beyond that. You could've left her with a neighbor or called another sitter, then lied to Cuddy. But you didn't, and you won't. You actually LIKE Rachel!"

"Shut up!"

"See, you're not even trying to deny it!"

"…Shut up!"

"You already said that."

"Well, I'm saying it again. Hey, don't you have a patient to get to?"

Wilson suddenly remembered his patient. "Oh crap, I forgot! This isn't finished, House. We're going to talk about it later!" With that, he hung up the phone.

House sighed. "You're causing me some problems here, Rach," House told the little girl, "Now Wilson's gonna make fun of me. Or worse, gossip about this with the nurses!" He'd just DIE if Brenda ever found out…

"But you're kinda…worth it, you know? Well, at least while you're young and still like me, right?"

Rachel smiled at him and grabbed his nose.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thanks so much for reviews! (19!!! YESS!!!)

More House/Rachel, and probably some Cuddy and Lucas (ew) too. To be honest, I never liked Lucas, even when he wasn't stealing House's girl. He seemed to me like one of those "man-boys" who play football videogames and have beer and pizza all day. Um, not that there's anything WRONG with that!

* * *

House continued to easily care for Rachel for the rest of the day. He had thought that this would be annoying and boring, but actually, he was kind of having…fun. Rachel seemed to genuinely like him, and he didn't mind playing with her at all. They played with her toys and watched mindless cartoons together. He called for Chinese take-out around 6:15 pm, and when Cuddy arrived at the loft to retrieve Rachel, he was feeding her white rice from his own plate- he was probably spoiling her, but she seemed to enjoy it.

House let Cuddy in and invited her to sit down since Rachel was still eating.

To say Cuddy was shocked would be an understatement. She was completely floored as she watched GREGORY HOUSE feeding her daughter rice from HIS plate, smiling at her, even _laughing _a little bit! And she couldn't help but think there was something sexy about watching him like that- still in his pajamas (like Rachel) because he had been too busy with her daughter to change his clothes, hair mussed from playing all day- WAIT! What was she thinking?! She was with Lucas! Remember, the one with…hair and…that color eyes? The RESPONSIBLE, STABLE, DEPENDABLE guy? She CHOSE him. So what was she doing thinking about HOUSE like this? Cuddy chalked it up to being tired from work and grateful to House for taking care of Rachel for her.

After House finished feeding Rachel, he put her little coat on her while Cuddy made sure everything was back in the diaper bag.

"Sorry she's still in her pajamas…we just had other things to do, you know?"

Cuddy gave him a Look and a wry smile, "I'm sure you were VERY busy. Was she good?"

"She was great, she didn't cry once."

"I'm not surprised, she's a very happy baby."

The two stood somewhat awkwardly in the doorway, unsure of what else to say.

"Well, if you ever need me to watch her again, I'd be glad to."

Cuddy raised an eyebrow. She hadn't expected that. She'd thought House would throw Rachel at her and lock the door behind him. But he WANTED to see Rachel again?

"Ok, thanks. I really appreciate that."

House nodded, and passed Rachel to Cuddy. But the little girl started to fuss, her small arms reaching for House.

House ruffled her hair. "Bye, Rach." 'Rach'? House had given her daughter a nickname?

Rachel continued to fuss, and Cuddy tried to soothe her, bouncing her up and down a little bit on her hip. "Rachel, what's wrong? Don't you want to go home?"

But Rachel seemed to ignore her, still reaching for House.

"Here," Cuddy said, handing Rachel back to House, "She wants to say good-bye to you."

"Um, ok," House took Rachel and hugged her, feeling awkward and sort of embarrassed with Cuddy watching him. Would she get angry? Did she not want him to have a relationship with her daughter?

Rachel smiled and gurgled at House happily, causing him to smile at her. Cuddy wasn't sure how one small facial expression could be so heartbreakingly sweet that it made her want to hold him. Wait- hold HOUSE? No, no, she wanted to hold RACHEL. Yes, RACHEL. Not HOUSE, he would never allow such a gesture of affection. Lucas would welcome it, but House definitely wouldn't, right? …RIGHT?!

Cuddy was going to drive herself absolutely insane if she stayed there any longer. After House and Rachel said good-bye, she took her daughter, bid House farewell, and turned to leave. She did not see House wave to Rachel and blow her a kiss, and she ALMOST did not see Rachel copy both gestures.

* * *

Wilson arrived home about an hour later. He found House playing a song he'd never heard before on the piano, but Wilson wasn't surprised; he knew that House could play by ear and might just be playing something he'd heard on the radio, and that House often composed his own pieces (though he'd only heard the ones that House made up as he went along, never ones that were written especially for someone).

"So?"

House looked up at him from the piano bench, pouting to have been interrupted.

"So what?"

"How did it go? Did Rachel drive you crazy? Did you threaten to de-stuff her stuffed animals or throw her out the window?"

House stared at the piano keys.

"No. She was great. I played with her. She didn't even cry. I…I think she liked me."

Wilson frowned, confused. "Then why do you look…I dunno, upset?"

House continued to stare at the piano keys.

"I…I could do it. I took care of Rachel. It wasn't hard at all. I even sort of…liked her. So why does everyone think that I couldn't be a father, if I wanted to? Why…?" His intensely blue eyes searched Wilson's face, looking for doubt or answers or lies.

Wilson sighed, understanding the unspoken question: If House could be a good father, as he had just demonstrated, why had Cuddy chosen Lucas over him?

"I don't know, House. Maybe Cuddy thinks this one time was a fluke. You should watch Rachel more often, let Cuddy see that it wasn't a one-time deal and that you really care for both her and her daughter."

"I already told her that I'd like to watch Rachel again."

Wilson smiled. "Good! And if she 'forgets,' push it. If you have to, tell her it's because you WANT to spend time with Rachel, even if she doesn't need a babysitter."

"I DO want to spend time with her."

"Huh?"

"I really DO want to spend time with Rachel. She…wasn't how I thought she would be. She was easy to get along with. I kind of…LIKED playing with her. It just wasn't…it wasn't how I thought it would be, and now…now I feel bad for resenting her. I can kind of…understand why Cuddy wants to go home to that so bad every day- I mean, Rachel's a really nice kid."

Wilson stared at him. "Oh my god, you love Cuddy's baby."

House rolled his eyes. "Not this again! I already told you, I haven't been around her much. No need for a reprise!"

"Well, obviously, there is. You and Cuddy both need to come to terms with the fact that or each of you, there is only the other, and the two of you would be great parents together. If only you two could see what's right in front of you!"

House did not know what to say to that. Was Wilson right?

Wilson sighed, realizing that House probably needed time to process and think. He put his hands up in a gesture of surrender, and went to the kitchen to find something to eat for dinner.

House stared at the piano keys for a few moments longer before he went back to playing Rachel's song.

* * *

Cuddy returned home with Rachel about ten minutes later. She unlocked the front door, flipped on the light switch, and put Rachel on the floor near her toys. She went into the kitchen to see about finding herself some dinner. Her Blackberry started to ring. It was Lucas.

"Hey, Lisa. I've got a stakeout tonight, so don't wait up for me, ok?"

Cuddy sighed. Of COURSE Lucas wasn't coming home. "Oh, um, ok. Thanks for calling to tell me. I'll…leave some leftovers for you in the fridge, ok?"

"Ok, thanks, Lisa." Cuddy heard something in the background- a feminine giggle.

"Lucas? Who's there with you?"

"Oh, uh…that was just some girl I was walking past. I'm not at the site yet, I'm walking there."

Walking? "Well…ok, then. Good-night, Lucas."

"Bye, Lisa." He hung up quickly, sounding relieved to end the conversation.

Cuddy wasn't sure how to feel. Part of her was saying, 'Idiot! He might be cheating!' But the other part wanted to trust Lucas- because without trust, there would be no relationship. And then Lisa Cuddy would have killed yet another 'perfectly good' romance before it got into full swing. Unless, of course, this was as good as it was going to get. Because then it would be a waste of her time.

Cuddy suddenly wasn't hungry anymore. She sat on the couch with another sigh.

"Looks like it's just you and me, Rachel."

Rachel toddled over to her mother. Cuddy pulled the little girl onto her lap.

"Mama. Don giwaffe," Rachel said, holding the stuffed giraffe that she had pulled out of the diaper bag up. She brushed the giraffe's face across her mother's.

Cuddy laughed at the sensation. "Where did you learn to do that, Rachel? Did House teach you that?"

"House?"

"That's right, sweetie. You played with House today."

Rachel hugged her giraffe tightly.

"Mama?" she asked.

"Yes, sweetie?"

"House?"

"What about him, Rachel?"

Rachel didn't have the vocabulary to tell her mother what she wanted. She repeated, "House?"

Cuddy bit her lip. "House isn't here, honey."

Rachel pouted, evidently understanding.

"You really like House, don't you, Rachel?"

But Rachel had already slid off her lap and went to find a different toy to play with.

Cuddy sighed yet again, watching her daughter play. How had House and Rachel bonded so quickly? Rachel DID like Lucas…but then, he had been around for nearly seven or eight months now- since Rachel had been too young to notice any difference.

There was one thing, however.

Rachel refused to call Lucas "Daddy."

Cuddy couldn't explain it; one of Rachel's first words HAD been "dada," but they hadn't been directed at anyone, and Cuddy wasn't sure that Lucas had ever heard her say it. So Cuddy told Lucas that Rachel's less-than-perfect circumstances of birth had slowed her progress down a little and that she'd probably say it soon, but that was an absolute lie. Rachel was a bright little girl with an inquisitive nature, and Cuddy had seen her eyes light up when she learned something- not unlike a certain diagnostician who had the similar quality of extreme curiosity.

Cuddy had been working in private to try and get Rachel to at least say "Lucas," but that wasn't going very well either. In fact, Rachel often called Lucas, "No." Cuddy couldn't figure that one out at all; it's not like Lucas goes around telling Rachel 'no' every five seconds. But whatever the reason, Rachel usually did not call Lucas ANYTHING unless she really wanted his attention, in which case she'd tug at the hem of his pants and say "No!"

Deciding it was getting late, Cuddy picked Rachel up and took her to the nursery to get her ready for bed. She put a clean pair of pajamas on her and read her a story in the rocking chair. When Rachel was asleep, Cuddy put her in her crib and went to her own room to shower and get herself ready to go to sleep.

Cuddy lay in her cold empty bed alone, confused and unsure. Was Lucas REALLY what she wanted? If House really COULD be a father to Rachel, then why couldn't she give HIM a chance? Because wasn't it HOUSE who she'd wanted, HOUSE who she'd waited and waited for and FINALLY when he shows her he's ready, she doesn't look his way twice? Why did she do that?

Cuddy turned over to lie on her stomach. She wondered if House was asleep yet. She wondered if he thought about her when he lay in bed, like she was thinking about him now. Did he still want her? He had backed off recently. Maybe he hated her for being cruel to him- she couldn't blame him if he did. She HAD been cruel, and she KNEW it. She just didn't know WHY she did it. House would never have done such a thing, and certainly NOT to her- he could be mean, but he wasn't cruel. But she had just been so caught up- caught up in a new relationship, caught up in the excitement of finally having the "perfect" family she'd envisioned. But it wasn't right, and she knew why.

It wasn't right because House wasn't in it.

She just didn't want to admit to herself that that was the reason.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Thanks very much for all the reviews! (And FINALLY someone agrees with me about Lucas!)

Some more House/Rachel cuteness…

Tell me what you think and if it's too soon or too weird or anything! We don't want our boy House seeming like a pedophile…

* * *

House rubbed his eyes tiredly and glanced at the clock. **8:27 AM**.

He groaned. _Well, at least it's Saturday…_

House had NOT had a good night's sleep. He'd thought about Cuddy all night long.

Being close to Cuddy was hard for him now. Yes, he WANTED to be close to her. But it still hurt badly to know that when she had that dreamy smile on her face, she definitely WASN'T thinking about him. It hurt to know that when she'd left yesterday, she'd run right into the arms of Mr. Perfect. Why hadn't Cuddy asked HIM to watch Rachel?

House sighed. He was GLAD that Cuddy hadn't asked Lucas to watch Rachel, though. He'd had fun with Rachel yesterday.

He was still tired, though.

House rolled over onto his stomach and pressed his face into his pillow to block the sunlight from his eyes. Just as he was drifting back to sleep, his cell phone started to buzz.

* * *

Cuddy could not BELIEVE that this was happening. She bustled about her room, trying to get ready. Her hair was still a mess and she had yet to find her make-up bag and- oh, great, she was wearing two different shoes!

Sighing, she kicked both shoes off and ran to her closet to grab a matching pair, all the while glancing repeatedly back at her Blackberry. She needed Lucas and she needed him NOW.

She had gotten a call about ten minutes ago- an emergency meeting had been called (for something that actually WASN'T House's doing) and no one had thought to contact her until TWENTY MINUTES before the start of the meeting. The nanny was still sick with the flu, and didn't work on Saturdays, anyway!

She had called Lucas FIVE TIMES already, and he hadn't responded. She was getting desperate; she didn't want to take advantage of House's sweet offer to watch Rachel anytime, but it looked like she would have to! And to think she had wanted to sleep a little late and spend the day at the park with Rachel…

Cuddy was infinitely glad that she had House on speed dial. She pressed one and waited for him to pick up.

"Mm…House." Oh god, he sounded tired. Cuddy felt awful for calling.

"Hey, House, it's me. Remember when you said you'd be glad to watch Rachel again? Do you think you could watch her today? I just got called in for an emergency meeting- Lucas isn't picking up and I have to be there in –Oh! Ten minutes!"

House cringed at her high-pitched screech. "Yeah, yeah I can watch her."

"Thankyousomuch!" Cuddy gushed. "We'll be there in five."

She hung up and ran to get Rachel's things together.

* * *

Cuddy arrived at the loft literally five minutes later. She practically threw Rachel at a still-tired House and ran back down the hall without saying anything.

"Hey, Rach," House said. "Did you have a good night's sleep?"

"No," Rachel said, smiling at House. "House."

House smiled; he couldn't help it. "Yep. I'm House."

Rachel laid her head on House's shoulder. She was really happy to see him and had a bright smile on her lips.

House reached up and stroked her hair. He knew Wilson was home and that he could come into the kitchen and see that, but House didn't really care. He was just glad to see Rachel. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed her, even though it had only been one night…

He sat Rachel on the counter to remove her coat. He then grabbed a box of cereal and poured some onto a plate. He stood at the counter and he and Rachel ate dry cereal together, Rachel babbling to him as though carrying on a real conversation, and House answering her back to encourage her.

Wilson came into the kitchen some time later to get himself some coffee, stretching as he strolled down the hall. He did not expect to see what was in the kitchen when he got there.

House had Rachel balanced on his hip as he looked through the refrigerator. The little girl was jabbering at him, and he was asking her questions and having a one-sided conversation with her.

"Do you like scrambled eggs, Rachel? Or was the cereal enough for you? Because I don't know about you, but I'm still hungry."

He stopped and tilted his head to listen to Rachel's cheerful gurgling, then said, "Ok, scrambled eggs, it is."

Wilson rubbed his eyes as though he might be seeing things. But when he looked again, House and Rachel were still there.

"Um, House? Did you forget that Rachel is CUDDY'S daughter, not yours?"

House pouted at him. "I KNOW whose daughter she is! Cuddy got called into a meeting and couldn't find Mr. Reliable, so she asked ME to watch her kid. Right Rach?" Rachel cooed at him in response. House smiled at her and found himself resisting the urge to kiss her forehead.

"Cuddy had better watch out, or else she'll never get her daughter back."

"Shut up, Wilson."

Wilson smiled to himself and went over to say hello to Rachel. She smiled at him momentarily but then buried her face in House's shoulder.

"Was she shy like that with you?" Wilson asked, rubbing Rachel's back gently so she wouldn't be upset.

"Nope. She liked me right away."

Wilson scoffed. "Yeah right. I bet you looked scary to her. She's just used to you now."

"You're just jealous because Rachel likes me better than she likes you. Right, Rach?"

Rachel smiled up at him with nothing short of adoration. House couldn't help himself this time; he leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the forehead.

(Hey, at least he didn't Fan-girl Squeal. That would be awkward!)

Wilson nearly died of shock. He staggered back, clutching at his chest.

"Oh. My. God. That did NOT just happen. Tell me that did not just happen."

House's ears flushed charming shade of red. "What?!"

"You…you just kissed Cuddy's baby. You love her. Admit it."

"N-no! Shut up! Sh-she was just bein' so damn cute, what the hell am I supposed to do?! Yell at her?!"

"Of COURSE not. And stop saying bad words in front of the baby."

"Do not ever say that again. Do you have any idea how gay that sounded?"

Wilson rolled his eyes. "Whatever, House. Listen, if you love Cuddy AND her daughter, then you should TELL her. You'll definitely win her over!"

But House shook his head. "No, I won't. LUCAS loves Cuddy and her kid, too. But he's stable and responsible and a nice guy. If Cuddy picked me over him, I'd worry for her sanity."

Wilson started to rebuke House for speaking so lowly of himself when he stopped, his face splitting into a grin.

"What?" House asked suspiciously. Well, more like defensively, but we'll indulge him this time.

"You said 'too.'"

"So?"

"You said 'too' as in 'also.' YOU ADMITTED THAT YOU LOVE CUDDY AND RACHEL!"

"NO! No I did NOT! You're reading too much into this!"

"Oh, stop being so damned ornery. You love Cuddy and you love Rachel and you have to tell them so."

"NO WAY am I telling Cuddy that!"

Wilson rolled his eyes again, "Fine! But you will have to EVENTUALLY. At least tell Rachel now. She probably won't even understand."

House opened his mouth and WAS going to say it. But he quickly lost his nerve.

"I can't say it with you WATCHING me like that!"

"You're such a baby. Fine. I'm going to take a shower. Tell her while I'm gone. My god, you're overly shy…"

"I am NOT shy!"

"You are so."

"…Shut up!"

Wilson rolled his eyes and started down the hall. He slammed the door, started the shower, then snuck back out and down the hallway. He stopped a little ways before the doorframe so he could hear.

House sighed, mustering up his courage.

"Rachel, I…um…" Rachel stared up at him with wide, trusting eyes. As if realizing his nervousness, she smiled sweetly at him, and that made telling her much easier.

"Rachel, I know we've only spent a little time together, but…I love you. Uh…ok?"

Rachel continued to smile at him, laid her head back on his shoulder and cooed, "House."

House decided to take that as an "I love you, too," and held Rachel tightly to his chest, rocking her a little. He kissed the crown of her head and then leaned his head against hers.

Wilson watched this with a tender smile on his face. If only Cuddy had witnessed this sweet moment- then she'd understand how House REALLY felt. Wilson suppressed a sigh and went to take his shower for real, all the while wondering what it would take for Cuddy to realize what's right in front of her.

* * *

After breakfast, House left Rachel with Wilson so he could shower and get dressed. He then changed Rachel's diaper (with much less difficulty this time) and dressed her in the clothes that Cuddy had packed in the diaper bag.

"So, Rachel, how about we go to the park?"

"Pawk?" Rachel asked excitedly. She loved to go to the park, especially with her mother- but she'd be happy to go with House, too.

"Yup. You wanna come with, Jimmy?"

Wilson sighed. "I'd like to, but I have some paperwork to finish up. You guys go on ahead without me."

House shrugged. "Suit yourself." He lifted Rachel up, settled her on his hip, grabbed her diaper bag and his cane and headed out the door.

A couple of hours later, Cuddy returned to House and Wilson's loft to pick Rachel up. She knocked on the door and was surprised when Wilson answered it.

"Oh! Um, hey Wilson," things had been strained between them recently. If Wilson had to choose between her and House, he would ALWAYS choose House, and Cuddy knew it. She knew Wilson was NOT happy with her for the way she had treated House- and he had every right to feel that way. Cuddy just hoped that they would be able to be friendly again.

"Hi, Cuddy. House and Rachel aren't here. They went to the park. It's just down the street."

"Ok, thanks, Wilson. I'll see you on Monday."

"Bye, Cuddy." He closed the door, but didn't slam it- _That MUST be a good sign,_ Cuddy thought.

Cuddy got to the park a few minutes later. What she saw made her gasp aloud.

House was pushing Rachel on the swing. When she wanted to get down, he picked her up and tossed her up into the air playfully. He kissed her on the forehead before he set her down on the ground and ruffled her light brown locks. Rachel squealed happily, clearly loving all the attention she was getting from House.

Cuddy felt tears well up in her eyes. House was playing with her daughter. He was behaving as though he were her father. And it looked so RIGHT.

Cuddy wiped the tears away before they could fall. She was so confused. House and Rachel got along beautifully- better than some biological family members did. House clearly loved her daughter. And he had admitted to being interested in her- to wanting her, and probably had said more about it to Wilson.

So why wasn't she with him?

Who SHOULD she be with?

If both Lucas AND House would love and care for both her AND her daughter, then who is she supposed to choose? The man she loves more? The man who was there first?

Who was the better fit?

House, having noticed her while watching Rachel run around, waved at Cuddy to come over to him.

Cuddy then burst into tears.

House, worried, scooped Rachel up and hurried over to Cuddy's side.

"What's wrong?" he asked, unmasked concern on his face.

Cuddy tried to dry her tears. "Nothing, House. Did you and Rachel have a good time today?"

"Yeah," House answered hesitantly. "We did. What's really wrong, Cuddy?"

Cuddy shook her head. "It's nothing, House, I'm just a little…confused right now."

She checked her Blackberry. No missed calls. Lucas hadn't even bothered to text her. She noticed it was just about lunchtime.

"Are you two hungry? We could go to a restaurant for lunch."

House nodded, the corners of his mouth going up a little.

"Sure, we're starved, eh, Rach?"

"No!" Rachel replied cheerfully. House chuckled and kissed her head, then froze, realizing he'd done that in front of Cuddy.

"Uh…that didn't happen?"

Cuddy shook her head with a smile. "It's ok, House. I saw you do that before. You and Rachel are really close already, huh?"

"Yeah," House said softly, a hint of a smile starting to glow on his face. "Wait, is THAT why you were crying?"

"Not really," Cuddy said, stoking Rachel's hair. "I told you, I'm just…confused right now. Let's just go get some lunch, ok?"

House nodded in agreement. He, Cuddy, and Rachel headed for her car to go find a restaurant.

* * *

A/N: Too soon? Please don't hurt me! I'm going to go hide in my closet now.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: So many reviews!!! Thanks so much! (Does the Happy Dance) Ahem. Time for the next chap. House/Cuddy/Rachel time! I hope I'll make any fellow Huddy Enthusiasts (sort of like Horse Enthusiasts or Mushroom Enthusiasts) proud!

I'm glad you don't think I'm rushing House and Rachel's relationship too much. I just figure that if he weren't jealous or resentful of her, he'd see her as an extension of Cuddy, and love Rachel because he loves her. (Hey, it's the Transitive Property! I are smart.)

A side note: I didn't expect to sympathize with Cuddy so much. I have actually been pretty mad at her. (House is my favorite character, so I'm allowed to be biased in his favor.)

…

(Fangirl screech- SO many reviews!!)

* * *

House, Cuddy, and Rachel arrived at an informal diner a short while later. The first ten minutes or so were easy- they were too busy deciding what to eat to feel awkward. But after the waitress took their orders and menus, the awkwardness began to set in.

"So…"

"So…"

Their eyes met over the table but they both quickly looked away. Cuddy turned to Rachel, smoothing her hair, and wondering when things had become this way between them: they had nothing to say, and they couldn't even look at each other.

A wave of guilt washed over her when she realized that it was her fault that they had become so estranged. If she had just told House and Wilson about Lucas, or better yet, not brought him with her at all, then that breakfast catastrophe wouldn't have happened. But then again, if she hadn't run into Lucas's arms in the first place…

Cuddy realized with a start that had she not run into Lucas's arms in the first place, she and House would probably be together right now. That got her to thinking.

If she was with House, she wouldn't have to worry about late-night stakeouts. House would remember to call. House would be there when she woke up. She wouldn't have to feel like she was choosing between House and Rachel, especially if she stayed a little bit longer at work than she absolutely HAD to, because she would have them both.

That sounded…good.

REALLY good.

The waitress came back with their lunch, smiling at Rachel before leaving to check on another table.

House, having overcome his previous discomfort at being more or less alone with Cuddy, had remembered something or other that had intrigued him and was jabbering excitedly about it to Cuddy. She smiled at him, but wasn't really listening, because all she could think about was how LUCAS never got excited about anything like that. How he talked and talked and could go on forever about _nothing_, yet still wasn't _excited_ or _intrigued_ about it like House was.

And Cuddy liked listening to House's voice: sort of gruff, not deep like some other guys', a slight lisp, especially when he pronounced a word with 's' or 'th'…

WHOA! Cuddy couldn't believe her own thoughts. She was swooning over a _lisp?_ She suddenly felt like a teenager having lunch with her crush, blindly adoring everything he does. She felt like that a lot with House, but since she'd been with Lucas, she'd naively hoped that the feeling would go away. But she should've known better. She had been trying in vain for years to convince herself that she didn't love House. She had even tried to tell herself that, yes, she HAD at one time loved House, but that those days were long gone. But she knew that she was lying to herself. You can't turn feelings on and off like that, like flipping a light switch- it just doesn't work.

Cuddy tried to focus on what House was saying, nodding at the appropriate times, laughing at anything funny he said. But she couldn't get the thought out of her head that Lucas never made her laugh like that.

* * *

After lunch, Cuddy decided that it was time for her and Rachel to be getting home. House scooped Rachel up and kissed her good bye. Rachel laughed and squealed as House tickled her belly and sides. House hugged her for a moment, but before he could pass her to Cuddy, Rachel kissed him on the cheek, not unlike what he had done to her just moments before. House looked shocked and Cuddy was pretty sure her heart stopped for a few seconds.

House tried to laugh it off. "Hey, monkey see, monkey do."

But Cuddy shook her head. "No way, House. She lo-likes you a lot. When I took her home yesterday, she asked for you."

"She…she did?" House tried not to sound hopeful.

"Yes, she did." Cuddy thought for a few moments. "If you want…I mean, feel free to come hang out with Rachel and me anytime. I'm sure she would love to see you, and you get along so well…it just wouldn't be fair if you two only got to see each other when I can't find a babysitter. Besides, we had fun today. When was the last time you and I got to just hang out outside of the hospital?"

House tried to stop himself, but he couldn't- a real smile made its way onto his face. "Thank you, Cuddy, I…I'd like that."

Cuddy didn't know what she should say- she was terrified of doing the wrong thing. House's genuine smiles are like the flame of a candle- beautiful and warm and flickering and one wrong move puts them out.

So she just smiled in return, accepted her daughter from his arms, and they headed back to her car so she could give him a ride home.

* * *

House returned to the loft a few minutes later.

"Hey, House. What took so long? Cuddy came by like an hour ago."

"We stopped for lunch," House said, hanging up his coat.

"I see…"

House sat down on the couch next to him, turned on the TV and started flipping through the channels to find something remotely interesting.

"House…"

"Hmm?" House answered, finally deciding on "Cops."

Wilson sighed. "House, be careful."

"What do you mean?"

"She's still with Lucas. She KNOWS that you have feelings for her. Just…be careful, ok?"

House rolled his eyes. "Nothing happened, Wilson. We just had lunch. That's ALL. Stop freaking out over nothing."

"I just don't want to see you get hurt, ok? She's done it to you before, so why wouldn't she do it again?"

"She didn't MEAN to hurt me. Well, not EVERY time. She was just doing what she thought would make her happy."

"Yes, but with total disregard of YOUR feelings! House, why are you defending her?"

"Because! Anyone else would've done the same thing! Besides, she said that she would like for us to hang out again. She…she said that Rachel asked for me yesterday, after they got home…"

Wilson had never seen House act like this. It was kind of strange, yet sort of…endearing. But still, he was worried. He couldn't stand to see his best friend get hurt, and he had a feeling that if Lucas found out about House spending time with Cuddy and Rachel, he would NOT be a happy camper. And Lucas had already committed cruel pranks against them. What would he do if he saw House as a real threat to his relationship with Cuddy?

Wilson tried to shake these thoughts off. "All right, all right, just…at least be a LITTLE careful, for me?"

House gave an exasperated sigh. "Yes, MOTHER, I'll try to be careful 'for you'."

"That's all I ask."

"You _would_."

"In what dimension was that clever?"

House smirked at him. "Wilson, when will you learn? _Everything _I say is clever."

"Yeah, in your head."

"You can bet your ass on that!" House turned back to the TV to hide his grin.

* * *

As Cuddy pulled into her driveway, she saw that the lights were on.

"I guess Lucas is home," She said to Rachel as she unstrapped her daughter from her car-seat.

"No!" Rachel answered.

Cuddy sighed. Why did Rachel have to call him that? Maybe if Rachel lov- um, LIKED Lucas the way she liked House, then maybe Cuddy would be able to suck it up and forget about all of her feelings for House. But she couldn't see that happening, and to be honest, she didn't WANT to forget about House. She didn't WANT to forget about all the things she liked- no, _loved _- about him: his smile, his laugh, his raunchy sense of humor, his brilliance, his creativity, his voice…and those eyes…

She had to stop herself before she got any further. She could NOT be thinking about House like this when she was with another man! Another man who didn't measure up to House in any way, shape, or form…

She sighed again. This was getting ridiculous.

Cuddy carried Rachel inside and set her down on the floor. She glanced at the clock before she went into the kitchen; it was only one p.m.

"Lisa, where were you? I thought we were going to take Rachel to the park today!"

"I know, I'm sorry, but I got called in for an emergency meeting. I tried to call you, but you didn't pick up."

"Oh, sorry, I was…busy. Wait, why was Rachel with you?"

"Well," Cuddy started, unsure of what to say, "I just got her from the babysitter."

"Oh," was all he said. He started rifling through the fridge for something to eat. "No beer?"

Cuddy frowned. "No, I haven't been to the store. Besides, it's only one, why do you want to drink now?"

Lucas gave a noncommittal shrug, "Why not? Beer tastes the same now as it does at five."

"Then why can't you wait till five?"

Lucas looked up at her from the fridge with annoyance. "Why can't YOU not be a buzz kill?"

Cuddy took a step back, hurt. She went into the living room and sat on the floor, her back to the kitchen, to watch Rachel play.

"Hey, Lisa, wait, I didn't mean to make you mad," Lucas said from the doorway.

Cuddy did not look at him. "I'm not mad." And it was true. She wasn't mad. She was sad.

"Well you sure SEEM mad."

She ignored him.

Lucas sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "You…you're really stubborn, you know that?"

Cuddy's frown deepened. NOW she was mad.

"At least **I **answer my phone when you call, and reply to all your texts and e-mails. At least **I **warn you when I'm not going to be home for dinner beforehand."

"Lisa, I'm not always available to answer calls and texts. Sometimes I don't have a chance to tell you when I won't be home for dinner."

"If it were only SOMETIMES, then maybe I would be able to look past it. But Lucas, you're barely here anymore! And when you show up, you expect me to drop everything to focus all my attention on you, or you just want sex! That's not how a relationship is supposed to be…"

Lucas sighed again. "I'm sorry, Lisa. I didn't realize I was upsetting you. I'll…I'll try harder, ok?"

She tried to smile at him. "Ok. Thank you, Lucas."

He'd try harder. But isn't that what House had been doing since he got back from Mayfield? Trying harder? And she…she hadn't noticed, for the longest time. But he was giving it his all, and hadn't even ASKED for another chance, he tried to EARN it. And Lucas? He just says "I'll try harder" and he's forgiven? How is that fair? How is that right?

Cuddy went to her bedroom. She closed the door and sat with her back against it. She folded her legs up to her chest and leaned her head on her knees. She felt so lost. She wished desperately for a girlfriend or sister to talk to. But she didn't HAVE any friends, just House, Wilson (but not really, not anymore), and Lucas (and she did not fancy that talking to Lucas about this would go over very well). And she and her sister were not very close- calling her up to talk about this would have Julia either annoyed at being interrupted from her own life or laughing at her.

Cuddy felt tears pricking at her eyes. She would have let them fall, but Lucas knocked on the door. She quickly wiped her eyes and went to sit on the bed.

"Hey," Lucas said, slipping into the room. "Rachel's down for her nap. You and I have some alone time. How about we…?" He trailed off, the grin on his face nothing short of lecherous.

She didn't want to, she honestly just DIDN'T want to. She was upset and confused and the last thing she wanted to do was have sex with the man she was upset with. But if she refused…

Cuddy sighed inwardly. If she refused, Lucas would know something was up. He would demand details of where she was. It would only make things worse for her.

Cuddy allowed Lucas to remove her shirt. She closed her eyes and tried to imagine that the hands running greedily along her body were House's. It was extremely difficult: Lucas does not have the same elegant, dexterous hands as House- his are too bulky and calloused for her liking. Were his hands even clean? She didn't know.

House's hands were always clean. She knows- she sees him wash them all the time (even if those times are usually when she follows him into the men's room). And even though his hands are calloused, it feels different, because they're from years of playing lacrosse, piano, guitar, and of course, from his cane.

And besides, House was always gentle with her. Even their one night in college...he had been gentle and loving and careful and had pleased HER- unlike Lucas, who only wanted to please HIMSELF, and didn't even seem to notice that she was faking it (not that she was even trying very hard to sound convicing anymore).

When she suddenly felt the cold and an absence of weight from her body, she realized that Lucas had already finished and had rolled off of her. Well, that was quick. She hadn't felt a thing. How…?

She looked over to find that he had fallen asleep, snoring unattractively. Cuddy frowned. House usually didn't snore very much because he slept with his mouth open- something Cuddy had found adorable since the time he fell asleep when they were supposed to be studying. And when he DID snore, it just sounded...well, actually, she thought his snores sounded cute.

She sighed, realizing that no matter what, she would always compare every man to House.

Well, it was official.

House had ruined her for all other men.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Sorry for the delay! (Bad BugBite!)

65 reviews?! SERIOUSLY?! Thank you so much! I can't believe people actually like this.

Anyway, I have a pretty good idea of where I'm going with this, but any suggestions (for this or otherwise) are always welcome! Yay, suggestions!

Ahem.

Please read and review, thanks!

* * *

On Monday morning, Cuddy discovered, to her dismay, that Beth was still very sick. When she called her to see how she was doing, Beth's sister had told her that Beth had been admitted to the hospital during the night. Cuddy made a mental note to send flowers to Beth's hospital room, and was then left with her next problem: what to do with Rachel.

Lucas was already gone when she woke up (which she was grateful for; she still felt ashamed for last night) and wasn't answering his cell, so she couldn't ask him to watch Rachel. And House had to work today.

So she decided that she would just have to take Rachel to work with her.

Cuddy packed Rachel's diaper bag and dressed her daughter in one of the cute little outfits that were a gift from Nurse Brenda. She and Rachel drove to the hospital, and arrived only ten minutes later than usual. She smiled and said hello to Nurse Brenda and her assistant, and settled Rachel on the floor of her office with some toys.

Everything was going fine for quite a while. Sure, Cuddy wasn't getting as much work done as usual, what with checking on Rachel every few minutes, but she didn't have any meetings scheduled for the day, so she had a little more time to finish her paperwork. But about an hour later, she was paged by Dr Stanton, who was having a problem with his patient's family members.

There were no nurses around to watch Rachel, so Cuddy took Rachel up to the fourth floor with her. As she approached Dr Stanton and saw just how upset the patient's family was, she flagged down a nurse and left Rachel with her.

The young nurse, Irene, was new to the hospital. She didn't know that Rachel was Cuddy's daughter. And she had been in a hurry to bring a cup of coffee to a doctor just down the hall.

"Um…stay right here, ok, hon? I'll be back in just a minute."

She put Rachel down near a nurse's station and hurried to bring the coffee to the doctor.

Rachel, now alone, surveyed her new surroundings, and began to wander down the hall. She stopped when she heard a familiar voice saying something about "loopis." Rachel's brow crinkled at such a strange word, but she knew the voice: it was House's.

She followed the voice into a big glass room, and was quite happy when she found House talking animatedly to other big people who she'd never seen before.

Well, you can imagine House's surprise when the Dean of Medicine's daughter toddled right up to him, her arms raised to be picked up.

"Rachel?" House exclaimed, scooping the little girl up, "What are you doing here? Where's your mother?"

Rachel just smiled at him and said, "House!"

House fought off a small smile, while the team looked confused (although they look like that a lot).

"She seems to know you well. Did you finally scare Lucas away from Cuddy and guilt her into going on a date with you?" Taub offered sarcastically.

House turned and looked at Rachel so that the team wouldn't see the hurt in his eyes. He tried to focus on the little girl who was happy to see him, not the pangs in his chest.

"I looked after her the other day," House said, not turning away from Rachel, "That's how she knows me."

Taub scoffed.

"Seriously? YOU watched Rachel?" Chase asked.

"Yes. I did. Why? Do you think I couldn't?"

"No! I just thought that you wouldn't want to," Chase explained. He really did like House, and didn't want it to seem like he underestimated him.

House shrugged. "Rachel's not so bad. She doesn't talk much. And she's not annoying like other kids."

House shifted Rachel in his arms, smiling at her. "You sure you don't know where your mother is? I seriously doubt she'd leave you all alone…"

"Mama?"

"Yeah, where is she?"

Rachel didn't answer, but leaned her head on House's shoulder, cooing his name.

After solving Dr Stanton's problem, Cuddy went to find Irene and Rachel. But she couldn't find them anywhere. She began to panic, hurrying up and down the halls.

She finally found Irene, flirting with a doctor over his desk.

"Where is my daughter?" she demanded.

"Who?" Irene straightened up, looking confused.

"My daughter! Rachel! I left her with you!"

"Oh…um," Irene stammered. "I-I didn't know that she was YOUR daughter, Dr Cuddy! I-I left her over by that nurse's station! I told her to stay there and that I'd be right back, I-!"

"She's FIFTEEN MONTHS OLD! She didn't understand you! My BABY is LOST! I have half a mind to fire you right now!"

Cuddy stormed away, frantically searching for her daughter. She ran past House's office so fast that she nearly didn't see House holding her little girl.

"House!" she cried, dashing into his office.

"Hey, Cuddy. What's the rush?" he answered, passing Rachel into her arms.

Cuddy hugged Rachel tightly. "Where were you, sweetie? I thought I'd lost you! Were you here with House the whole time?"

"Mama!" Rachel cried happily. She pointed to the man next to her and declared, "House."

Cuddy smiled and stroked Rachel's hair.

"Yes, that's House." She turned to said diagnostician. "Where did you find her?"

"I didn't. She just walked here. Why'd you leave her to wander around? I mean, that wasn't really the most responsible thing to do, Cuddles…"

"Responsible," Taub scoffed. "Look who's talking."

Cuddy frowned at Taub, and rolled her eyes at House.

"I did NOT leave her 'wandering around.' I left her with a nurse, who left my fifteen month old alone by a nurse's station to go flirt with some doctor!"

"Are you gonna fire her?"

"Probably."

House nodded. He was silent for a moment, then said,

"Can I talk to you alone for a minute?"

He gave her a light push towards his office.

"Uh, yeah. Sure," Cuddy was a little confused. Usually it was SHE who was pushing House into an office.

House shut the door to the conference room and pulled Cuddy to the far side of his office so that the Ducklings couldn't hear.

"I was wondering…" he started, not looking at her.

_Oh no,_ Cuddy thought. Was he asking her on a date? She couldn't say yes, she was with Lucas. But if he did ask, she knew that she wouldn't say no.

_Get a hold of yourself, Lisa!_ Cuddy chided herself. House wouldn't ask her on a date while she was with someone! He wasn't into unfaithfulness. He would lie and do whatever it took to get what he wanted, UNLESS it had something to do with people he cared about. He was ALWAYS faithful, and his loyalty to his friends would always override his own desires. Why else would he back off when he wanted Cuddy so badly?

"Well, Wilson has a date tonight, so I have the loft all to myself. But it's pretty big and empty, so, if you want, you and Rachel could come over for dinner…" he seemed a little nervous. In truth he was worried that she would take it the wrong way (though he wished that it could be a real date, not just dinner between friends).

Cuddy smiled. "Sure, House. We'd love to. What time should we come over?"

"Um, how about 7?"

Cuddy nodded. "Sure, we'll see you then. Rachel, say good bye to House."

She held Rachel up so she could kiss House on the cheek, causing House to make a face and pretend that he didn't like it.

"Bye, Rach," House said, ruffling her hair. "See you later. Oh, you too, Cuddy," he added, like an afterthought.

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "I knew you were just using me to get close to Rachel."

"What can I say? The girl is irresistible."

"Good bye, House."

"Good bye, Cuddy."

* * *

Cuddy and Rachel returned home from House's loft at around 9:30 p.m.

She went into her dark house and flipped the light switch in the living room. She set Rachel down on the floor with her toys before going into the kitchen to turn the light on.

"Lisa."

Cuddy jumped, badly startled, and spun around quickly. "Lucas!"

"Where were you and Rachel?" Lucas asked, calmly sitting at the table. Startling Cuddy seemed to have no effect on him.

Cuddy frowned. "Rachel and I were out having dinner."

"Who with?"

Cuddy bit her lip. She had no idea why she felt embarrassed to admit, "House."

THAT affected Lucas. "WHAT?!"

"House. Rachel and I had dinner with House."

"You let Rachel near that PSYCHO? Lisa, how COULD you? What if he hurt her? What if he-"

"House is NOT a PSYCHO! And he would NEVER hurt Rachel! How DARE you insult him like that?!"

"He sure SEEMS like a psycho. At least, that's the way YOU made it sound when you told me about his 'mental breakdown.' Face it, Lisa, he was just a crazy drug addict. I wouldn't be surprised if he was back on the Vicodin RIGHT NOW."

Lucas was probably going to continue, but he was cut off by a swift slap on the face. Cuddy felt terribly guilty for telling Lucas about House's mental break. She had just wanted to TALK about it, especially with someone who knew House, but Wilson had been a wreck and she didn't want to push him. None of her family members would have understood. And no one else REALLY knew what was going on. But obviously, Lucas had been the WORST person to talk to, and now she was paying for her bad decision in the form of a fight with Mr. Stable-Dependable-Reliable.

"You have NO RIGHT to talk about House that way. What I told you was CONFIDENTIAL. I thought that you would understand, seeing as the two of you were friends once. OBVIOUSLY, I was wrong. House is NOT back on the Vicodin, and he WON'T be, not ever again. And he's NEVER been 'crazy'- he's brilliant and creative- NOT 'CRAZY'!"

Lucas rolled his eyes. "Can't you see, Lisa? It's all just an act. He's not going to stay clean, even if he is now. He just wants to win you over- he wants what we have: a REAL relationship. He'll steal you away from me, play with you for a while, then get bored and move on to the next bimbo he sees!"

Cuddy's jaw dropped. If she were the violent type, she'd probably grab a kitchen knife and jump him, but instead, she punched him in the nose, and then calmly pointed to the front door.

"Do not EVER come near me or my daughter again. If you so much as put one of your dirty feet on my doorstep, you will regret ever being born."

Lucas wiped the blood off his nose and opened his mouth to protest, but Cuddy's angry shout of "GO!" sent him on his way. But as he turned to close the door, he stopped.

"_You_ will regret this, Lisa Cuddy."

With that, he slammed the door behind him and sped off down the street.

Cuddy stared at the door in disbelief. He was threatening her? What kind of low-life jerk had she been dating?

Rachel came into the kitchen, one hand rubbing her eye sleepily, the other dragging Don Giraffe behind her.

"Mama? No?"

Cuddy sighed and picked her daughter up.

"Lucas isn't coming back, sweetie."

Rachel did not seem too torn up about that, and asked, "House?"

"Maybe we'll see House tomorrow, sweetie. Right now, it's time for bed."

Rachel lay her head on her mother's shoulder, not about to protest.

Cuddy got her daughter ready for bed. Rachel was asleep the moment her head hit the pillow. Cuddy watched her silently for a while. She then went to her own room to get ready for bed, too.

Cuddy lay awake in her bed, feeling lonelier than ever. She wasn't…sad, per se, that she had just broken up with Lucas, but she WAS sad that she had ruined another relationship. A relationship that was no good for her or Rachel, she reminded herself, but it was still ruined. She felt a few tears slip down her face.

Cuddy turned over to allow the tears to fall onto her pillow. The telephone on her nightstand caught her eye. House would surely still be awake; he'd been an insomniac for as long as she'd known him, and it was barely ten o'clock. She grabbed the phone and dialed his number, trying to think of a good excuse for calling so late.

"House."

"Hey, it's me."

"Cuddy? Everything all right? Or do you just need a new idea for tonight's fantasy?"

Cuddy felt her face split into a smile. THERE was the House she knew and loved. Wait, loved?

"You still there?"

"Oh, um, yeah, I'm here, I just…" Actually, Cuddy didn't really know what to say. She just wanted the comfort of his voice, his inappropriate jokes, but she hadn't expected to admit to herself that she…loved him.

"I just wish you were here with me."

Oh, crap! She hadn't meant to say that out loud…

There was silence on the other end.

"House?" she whispered. Oh, no, had she ruined everything? Would he ever speak to her again? She knew that he was…attracted to her, but did he _love_ her?

"I wish I were there, too, Cuddy," House admitted softly.

"Then get your ass over here."

"What about…Lucas?" he hated even to say the name.

"We…we broke up. He said some really awful things about you, and then had the nerve to threaten me! I don't need a jerk like that near my daughter."

"You don't need a jerk like ME near your daughter, either."

Cuddy felt her heart break a little. It was HER fault he thought that.

"House. Listen to me. You…you CAN be a jerk sometimes. And sometimes…sometimes I just hate the way you act. But that doesn't make you a…a BAD person. And Lucas is WAY more of a jerk than you have ever been."

"Thank you," he said so softly she almost didn't hear it. "And I WOULD get over there, except that you're on the rebound."

Cuddy pouted at his refusal. "I'm not asking you to DO anything. I just want you to be here. Please? I'm not trying to get a pity fuck. Besides, if I won't put out on the first date, then I CERTAINLY won't put out BEFORE the first date!"

House chuckled in appreciation of her logic and finally gave in.

"Fine. But just tonight, and just as…um, friends, or whatever-the-hell we are right now. Ok?"

"Ok."

When House got to her place a few minutes later, Cuddy wordlessly let him in and led him to her bedroom. They lay side by side there, together, two broken people healing each other without knowing it.

For a short while, it was a bit awkward, but when House reached over and took her hand, everything else seemed to fade away.

Cuddy fell asleep peacefully that night, aware only of the soft patter of rain against the windowpane and the man next to her who warmly clasped her hand.


End file.
